Things I want my daughter to know

Everyday while driving to work I think about things that I want to tell Riley Mae, things I want you to know about life. Things I've learned and want her to learn, the easy way. Here is my list of 50 things I want her to know...to look back on one day and realize what life is all about:

1. Choose your attitude; there is so much negativity in the world. Don't let yourself be negative. It's a choice.
2. Always buckle your seat belt
3. Say please and thank you. Please shows respect, thank you shows appreciation. Do both. 
4. You can always come home. Whenever. No matter how old you are.
5. Diamonds are not a girls best friend. they are materialistic, best friends are your best friends. They are like sisters you choose; They make life so much better. 
6. Read. Stay educated on things going on in your community, your environment and lifestyle. 
7. You and I will fight. You will probably hate me at some point, but we will make up and it will all be fine again. 
8. I will continue to push you. Speech therapy every night during the week. You will thank me when you are in college and top of your class. 
9. I will only do things that are best for you. Even when you think they're not. 
10. Always believe in Santa Claus
11. You will always be in search for the perfect mascara, it never ends. Just keep searching. 
12. Don't worry about things you can't control. You implants and hearing is something you or I can't control, but how you approach it and work at it is. Worry about that. 
13. Different is beautiful. God gave you a gift. 
14. Girls can sometimes be mean. You don't need those girls in your life. 
15. High school is not the end all be all. It may seem like it determines your life, but that is so far from the truth. 
16. Keep your faith.
17. You can always borrow from my wardrobe; what's mine is yours
18.  Invest in really good shampoo and conditioner; your hair is so important. 
19. Be an advocate for yourself. Speak up when you feel out of place or something doesn't feel right. Mama won't always be there to help you out. 
20. Family is forever. 
21. Be the first to apologize. It will show your inner beauty and strength.
22. Be a friend people go to for guidance, to keep a secret. Not the opposite. 
23. Don't start highlighting or dyeing your hair until you absolutely have to. And go to a salon for that. 
24. Go to the beach. The real beach. 
25. Being smart is cool. 
26. Whenever you can, Dance. You always feel so much better. 
27. Some people need a drink to make everything feel better; Buying a brand new pair of shoes feels soooo much better. Go shopping!
28. There will always be people that judge in this world, don't be one of them. 
29. No matter how bad your day is, there is always someone having a worse day. 
30. Be a big sister. A friend. A protector.
31. A good workout could mean the difference between a good day and a bad day. You always feel so much better. 
32. Beat the boys at their own game.
33. Give back
34. A leader is knowing when to follow.
35. growing old doesn't mean growing up. 
36. Less is more when it comes to wearing makeup. 
37. Don't let anyone tell you you can't do something because of your hearing loss. You can do anything. 
38. Pizza Cutter pizza in Avon Lake is the best pizza ever.
39. Take naps. It's okay to need some alone time to recharge. 
40. Find a guy that loves you the same way you love him. 
41. Your father will always be a softy for you. 
42. Practice makes perfect. You can apply that to anything in life. 
43. I hope you never have to know who Miley Cyrus is. 
44. Learn from your failures; they're the reason you will be successful
45. Your never farther away then a phone call or facetime
46. It's fun to be one of the boys, but know when to act like a lady
47. Lay in our backyard and watch the stars occasional. They are amazing.
48. It's not your job to keep everyone happy. 
49. If you ever get a tatoo...stop and think what you're putting on your body. If you can't show your father, you better not. 
50. You will always be my baby. My first born.

11 Month Update

Ms. Mae

Please explain yourself! How are you 11 months old? That's one month from being 1 year old. A toddler. No longer my bitty baby. How did this happen? You are such a big girl. You have developed so much in the past month, along with your listening skills. You can now hear more sounds and look to sounds. You're only 3 months hearing, but I feel like you have came leaps and bounds.

 

You still love to eat. You are now on all table food, and whole milk. No MORE BOTTLE! Well except for at daycare when you see the other babies with bottles, then you want yours too. But other than that you are strictly sippy cup. So BIG! You are such a visual little girl. You will win a staring contest with anyone and everyone. You are always exploring with your eyes. You love watching cartoons in the morning, playing with daddy, and of course your binky. You still love your bathtime and pooltime. You get so excited with your bath toys that you won't ever put them down. They come out of the bath with you, and end up all over the house!

The planning in in full effect for your 1st birthday party. It is going to be a celebration for everyone. You have had quite the year. I know you won't remember your first year, your CI journey or even your party; that's why I want to document everything for you.

Your smile lights up the room. When I walk in and that big smile comes across your face, it makes my day perfect. You amaze me everyday with how well you are doing and how far you have come. I love you more than you realize, and until you have babies, you probably will never truly realize.

 Love, Mama

Poor Girl???

Last week at the YMCA daycare, the daycare student smiled at Riley Mae and said "poor girl", with a smile and open arms. Poor girl?

Now let me give you alittle background....

Riley was born with EVA which is an enlarged vestibular that makes her have little to no hearing in both ears. This condition usually gets worse over time, and it has for Riley. She was born with some hearing in her left ear, and over time...it was getting worse.

We, Josh and I, decided to get her cochlear implants in both ears at 9 months old. Research shows that the younger the child gets implanted and starts getting stimulation of sound, the better chances are of them developing speech and being at the same level of their peers.

Now let me skip 9 months and now she has had the surgery, gotten activated in BOTH ears and is happy as can be. She babbles, looks to sounds, claps and is now waving to everyone! Would you call that a poor girl?

I actually feel for moms that don't take every single word and movement their child makes for granted. Last night I was talking to Riley and I said HI RILEY.....she looked at me and waved. She listened to me. She didn't just hear me, she was listening. I cried! How many moms can say that. It is just natural for them. Every time Riley listens, I notice. Every time Riley makes a reaction to sound, I notice. It has made me a better mom. 

 

Two weeks ago I was playing with Riley and I started laughing (which is a loud annoying sound) and Riley dropped everything a looked at me and just had such a big smile. She heard that. Those are the moments I would miss if Riley had normal hearing. Every little sound I point out when we are outside...the wind, the trees, the birds, cars, everything. Would I do that if Riley had normal hearing?

So many times we are so busy that we don't notice how are children develop. How much they learn through their environment. I can hostly say that I am NOT guilty of that. I work full time, teach 3 spinning classes a week, have speech therapy for Riley once a week but I still notice every single move she makes. We she hears her toys, I notice. She has broughten me that gift. The gift of motherhood that most moms don't have. The gift to be happy when my child is talking to much, or waking up the baby, or being loud in a restuarant.

So many times I see complaining on Facebook about such small miniscle things that make me think....that poor girl. She doesn't realize that even though their child is waking up the baby, or running around like a maniac screaming, she has a gift that she takes for granted. That will be something that I never take for granted...something that makes me smile everyday. Riley will have more than most kids I know.

Now do you think this is a poor girl???

Shannon

10 Month Pistol

Ms. Mae,

 Well little girl, I would have to say that we've had quite the road with you. After your surgery, you have been back in the hospital for 4 days, then home for 2 weeks, and back for 2 days. Your on two different medicines and this time for 4 weeks! This infection will just not let up. I have a feeling we are going to be back again.

You are one strong little girl. You don't ever give up. You go at your own pace. And when you want something...we all know about it. You laugh. Oh boy do you laugh. Your dad's really the only one that can make you belly laugh for a long time. You just find him so amusing...it's hilarious.

You are hearing so much with your CI (right side) that it is amazing. You look to sound now, look to toys that make sounds and most importantly...you dance! You heard mama laugh for the first time the other night. You stopped, looked and smiled right to me. It was the bet moment. You keep shining and learning more everyday. You lost your voice because of all the talking you do. IT'S GREAT.

We're still working on crawling, which you dispize, but you are all about standing. I think you say "only babies crawl", I'm gonna walk! That's so your personality. We still try and one day we will be chasing after you. Don't grow up too soon, go your own pace.

You love food. Any and all kinds. We fed you chicken for the first time last night and you LOVED it. You eat everything that you can get your hands on to. If you don't like it, you push it away...far away.

You love bath time, sleeping, all your toys, putting things in your mouth, going outside, swinging on your swing set, Rome, swimming and believe it or not, taking your medicine. There really isn't anything you don't like...well maybe cottage cheese, but we will work on that.

You're in size 12 month clothes-12 MONTH! That's like a toddler...gosh you are getting so big. Size 3 diapers and growing by the second. The last check up went great. You are now 18 lbs, and 23 inches tall. This was your first time on the growth chart, only 7% but you're still on it!

There isn't anything we wouldn't do for you. You have so many people in your corner, more prayers then god can possibly keep up with. You are only lucky little girl, not to mention fashionable. I look forward to everything life has in store for us, the good and the bad. You are truly my sunshine in everyday. I love you to the moon and back, more than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches!

Love,

Your Mama

9 Month Baby

Since Riley's 10 month is tomorrow I naturally thought it was time to update the world on her nine month. ahem. Well TECHNICALLY if you look at gestational age she is going to be nice months, so I'm on track. Right?

My Sweet Riley, I can't believe your only 9 months when I feel like you've been in my life forever. You have such a personality and such a little person that you feel like a 9 year old, not 9 month old. You are such a charmer and everyone just loves to be around you. You are a one happy happy baby.


 Love your sleep; you will sleep 10 hours a night and be ready to play when you get up. You laugh out loud and play with whatever you can get your hands on. Everything goes right to the mouth. Every. Single. Time.

You love love love to eat. Sweet potatoes, apples, advocato, peas, bean, banana, pears...you name it. You get so excited when you see that bib coming on that you can barely stand it. Your legs get straight and you arms start going crazy. You're too cute.

This month was a big month with your surgery going on. You had such a support group there; we took up the whole 3rd floor. 6 hours of waiting, hoping, praying. Everything turned out great and Dr. Yates was amazing. I thank him everyday for his talent. He has taken great care of you (more to come).

We had our first family vacation and you had a blast. You didn't love the lake water but still had a great time hanging out with everyone. Your first of many times to sleeping bear dunes. I hope to make many more memories of vacationing with family, friends and you seeing the world.

Your are the sweetest little girl and I couldn't have even dreamed this up. I look into your eyes and see so much going on in there. Alittle bit of me, some of your dad, but mostly your strength, your courage and your ability to make everything better for everyone. You're my best friend. I love you to the moon and back. I love you more than you will ever know, more than the sunset on a summer night, more than chocolate.

 Love, Your mama

Why God Chooses A Mom

I know I have been a bad blogger and there is so much for me to document on this amazing/scary journey we have been on the past couple weeks. I will update everything in due time.

I just wanted to share this post that a good friend sent to me. She is going through the same thing I am...and thought of me when reading this. WARNING...you may need tissues.


God Chooses A Mom For A Disabled Child"

By Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, Nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over the Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.

"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.

"Rudlege, Carrie; twins; patron saint…give her Gerald. He’s used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She’s so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel"

"But has she patience?" Ask the angel.

"I don’t want her to have too much patience or she will drown in self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she’ll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She’ll have to teach the child to live in her world and that’s not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness"

The Angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she’ll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a ‘spoken word.’ She will never consider a ‘step’ ordinary. When her child says ‘Momma’ for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."


Have a great day.

The Night Before

Riley Mae,

Here we are. The night before. Tomorrow is surgery day. Tomorrow your life will change forever. Even though you will not be activated or turned on until July 11th, tomorrow is the big day. There's no turning back. Tomorrow is when your cochlear implants and electrodes will be installed in your little 8 month ears.

I want you to know that your father and I love you very much and would go to the moon and back for you. We made this decision for you to get the implants with little or no discussion about it. We want you to have all the opportunities in the world. Not that you wouldn't if you couldn't hear, but they would be limited. We want you to be in our world. The world with spoken language and listening.

There is so much going through my head as I type this and think about tomorrow. I hope and I pray. I hope that this gives you the gift of hearing. I hope that you know who much we love you. I pray that you get through the surgery and recover in no time. I pray that everything is going to be great because we have God on our side.

One day you will have many questions about this procedure, your implants and why you have to have them. Some days I ask those same questions. Just know that you are very special to a lot of people. God only gives you and our family gifts that we need in our life. This process will make you so much stronger then you could have ever been. I know it has me. It has changed who I am as a person, a wife, a most importantly a mother.

Tomorrow you will be in good hands. Tomorrow you have so many people coming to support you. Tomorrow will hopefully change you life forever.

 

Love Mama