When I was growing up and thought about being a parent, I mostly figured I would be a boy mom. Yup! That was going to be me...football, lot's of food, and toy cars. Well God sure did play a trick on me because now that our second daughter is almost 7 weeks away, ahem, I consider myself a total girl mom.
I have been reading a couple different mom blogs that got me thinking about about the responsibility of being a girl mom. The responsibility of being the same sex parent and getting the opportunity to raise daughters into women. This would come easy to me if I were the person I want them to be. Not that I am a bad mother or women in general, but I want them to grow up to be better than me. I don't want them to experience the same things I did or go through the worst to get through the best. I want to be a role model, a mentor, a friend and most importantly, a mother. I want when they are 30 years old to role their eyes or walk really fast somewhere to stop and say "Oh my....I'm just like my mom," and be proud.
Our girls are going to learn a lot from their father but I think they will rely on the girly aspects of life, love, success and happiness to come from me. Dad's going to be more of the outdoor, fishing, hunting, don't let the boys anywhere near my girl type of dad, and that's okay. Lately Riley has been obsessed with bracelets and necklaces; she won't take them off. Like ever. All I keep thinking is "where did she get that from", and everyone keeps pointing right at me. Really? Am I that girly? So it got me thinking...
I want to raise my daughters to be confident, loving, a great friend, kind, and a family girl. These atributes have to come from me, come from what they see. They will look to me for the decisions they make and hope I will support and give them advice on love and life.
If I obsess about food and exercising then they will grow to look at only the exterior beauty and not see what's inside. Even if we think we don't do it- we do. As women we are always criticized on our weight and looks that this rubs off on the ones that look up to us.
If I look in the mirror and only see imperfections all the time- my girls will only see imperfections with them. If I don't want to take pictures with them because I think I'm too fat or I don't like my smile then they will see that and it will influence their inner beauty.
If I focus on success more than family then it will teach them that family comes second and your career is first. When in reality I do the most I can in my career because of my family- to give them the things I didn't have and hopefully they will look up to me for my dedication and committment to both.
If I don't love their father like I should- they will learn how to love like that. I want them to learn how to love like we do, not like we don't. I want them to find true love and not rely on any man to take care of them because they can.
I want them to look at my best friends and me and know that true friendship is a bond like no other, just like sisters. I want them to know that there are some people that aren't your friends and you don't need people that use their power or do not take pride in your accomplishments as much as you do. I need to be that friend first for my daughters to learn that.
You see, being a girl mom is a blessing like no other but it is a scary road. You have to put your best foot forward and know that even from 18 months old, your babies want to be like you. The things you do influence their decisions and when it's all said and done, when they are mothers themselves, they will look around one day and be proud to be JUST LIKE THEIR MAMA.
Wish us all luck!
Monday, February 10, 2014
To say this whole second pregnancy has been such a different experience then Riley is an understatement. From getting pregnant, staying pregnant, getting ready and picking out a name has been like a whole different world. We had Riley picked out within the first 3 months of being pregnant; before we even knew that she was a girl. We knew her name was Riley Mae (Mae) after my grandmother and Riley because we both absolutely loved it, and still do. So now that I have 9 weeks left (holy $%#$@$%) it was about time we finalized a baby name- parent fail # 5637.
Choosing a name is hard- there are so many factors to think of when you have to name your child. Will they like their name? What are possible nicknames? Will classmates make fun of them? How does it sound on a resume? You know all the big things that parents think about...
We had a couple names that we were for sure were our babies name: Reagan. While we loved Reagan and still do, I just couldn't name her with another R name because her middle name is going to be Marie no matter what. We would have two RMNs in our house and if any of you monogram things you know this could be an absolute nightmare.
Finley and Sadie were ones we both like too. These were good because they rhymed and flowed great with Riley. Then I got to thinking- if I have another child (which we want to) there would be pressure to rhyme them all. NO THANK YOU!
Kate was her name at one time. It was a combination of our mothers names but there was just something about it. We didn't feel the connection- the light that comes on when you hear that name. After getting a painted ornament from my best friend Jill and having a stocking made in that name, we decided to scratch that name.
The name we chose wasn't a name that we even talked about for the first 6 months of pregnancy. It's a name that is not in the top 100 baby names; which again surprises me because I love traditional names. It's a name that is "trendy" right now but the people that I do know that have this name for their child I will probably never see again.
It's also a name you can shorten. I always wanted a to be able to shorten my name or have a cool nickname from my original name. The shortened version is in the top 5 baby names so it's a win win. Although her real name wont be printed on any sippy cups or keychains, her shortened version will be!
It's a name that is definetely longer than Rileys but is also a unisex name. I seem to be drawn to unisex names for some reason. Josh and I both love it- We have been calling her this for 2 months while still looking at names; i think we went through about 3000 baby names. You can come up with some very interesting nicknames for about any name, let me tell you. The wait is finally over....
Our baby girl.....
Our second daughter.....
No longer named baby sister.....
Emerson Maire Niedzwicki
I know it's a mouth full- she can hate me later:)
PS...while I am not creative enough to make the hot air balloon mobile because I can't sew, you may or may not see these paper mache letter in her room. Nursery reveal coming soon!