When I was growing up and thought about being a parent, I mostly figured I would be a boy mom. Yup! That was going to be me...football, lot's of food, and toy cars. Well God sure did play a trick on me because now that our second daughter is almost 7 weeks away, ahem, I consider myself a total girl mom.
I have been reading a couple different mom blogs that got me thinking about about the responsibility of being a girl mom. The responsibility of being the same sex parent and getting the opportunity to raise daughters into women. This would come easy to me if I were the person I want them to be. Not that I am a bad mother or women in general, but I want them to grow up to be better than me. I don't want them to experience the same things I did or go through the worst to get through the best. I want to be a role model, a mentor, a friend and most importantly, a mother. I want when they are 30 years old to role their eyes or walk really fast somewhere to stop and say "Oh my....I'm just like my mom," and be proud.
Our girls are going to learn a lot from their father but I think they will rely on the girly aspects of life, love, success and happiness to come from me. Dad's going to be more of the outdoor, fishing, hunting, don't let the boys anywhere near my girl type of dad, and that's okay. Lately Riley has been obsessed with bracelets and necklaces; she won't take them off. Like ever. All I keep thinking is "where did she get that from", and everyone keeps pointing right at me. Really? Am I that girly? So it got me thinking...
I want to raise my daughters to be confident, loving, a great friend, kind, and a family girl. These atributes have to come from me, come from what they see. They will look to me for the decisions they make and hope I will support and give them advice on love and life.
If I obsess about food and exercising then they will grow to look at only the exterior beauty and not see what's inside. Even if we think we don't do it- we do. As women we are always criticized on our weight and looks that this rubs off on the ones that look up to us.
If I look in the mirror and only see imperfections all the time- my girls will only see imperfections with them. If I don't want to take pictures with them because I think I'm too fat or I don't like my smile then they will see that and it will influence their inner beauty.
If I focus on success more than family then it will teach them that family comes second and your career is first. When in reality I do the most I can in my career because of my family- to give them the things I didn't have and hopefully they will look up to me for my dedication and committment to both.
If I don't love their father like I should- they will learn how to love like that. I want them to learn how to love like we do, not like we don't. I want them to find true love and not rely on any man to take care of them because they can.
I want them to look at my best friends and me and know that true friendship is a bond like no other, just like sisters. I want them to know that there are some people that aren't your friends and you don't need people that use their power or do not take pride in your accomplishments as much as you do. I need to be that friend first for my daughters to learn that.
You see, being a girl mom is a blessing like no other but it is a scary road. You have to put your best foot forward and know that even from 18 months old, your babies want to be like you. The things you do influence their decisions and when it's all said and done, when they are mothers themselves, they will look around one day and be proud to be JUST LIKE THEIR MAMA.
Wish us all luck!