Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Advice for New Moms

Being a mom is not what I thought it would be. Its the scariest, most terrifying, uncomfortable, and unbelievably rewarding thing I have ever done. Some days I sit back and admire my two daughters and how beautiful they are becoming; there are other days when I wave my red flag and hope someone comes in my door to let me know I'm on hidden video or something. Motherhood is full of unplanned, unpredictable, crazy moments, and for the type A personality...this could be challenging.

Good thing for my family and everyone that comes in contact with us that I am the complete opposite of type A. I think I'm actually type W or something. I adapt to change easy, I hate to clean and organize; nothing, I mean nothing, has a proper place and if I loose something, I will just buy another!

When you're a new mom everyone is giving you advice. You read blogs, facebook, try to plan your life according to other peoples experience. Stop now! Now that I look back on my first year of motherhood I laugh. The things I thought I wouldn't do, I do (like all the time).

1. Each baby (situation) is different. I've had so many moms give me advice on bottles, wipes, diapers, co sleeping, milestones...etc. Each baby is different and you have to adjust. I wasn't able to breastfeed because I didn't produce any milk. I cried. I felt the worst mom in the history of all moms but I had to adjust. I had to change my plan. My baby needed food and that was my main priority. Riley loved Tommy Tippie bottles, Em will only take Doctor Brown. Be flexible. If your baby doesn't like something, switch it. Just because your favorite cousin did things one way doesn't mean you have to do things the same. Do what's best for  you and your family.

2. Don't take things for granted: Being a mom is a huge change in your life. Well imagine being a new mom and getting news that something is terrible wrong, in the same day! One moment can change your life. That is the moment you realize that you have to work harder than you have ever worked, pray harder then your ever prayed, and sacrifice more than you have ever sacrificed. Being a mom will push you to your limits and each family will go through their own trails and hardships in their lifetime.  I know it's kind of cliché but life throws curveballs and sometimes that makes us better in the long run. Enjoy the moments.

3. If you don't want to be bothered, don't: Sometimes it's okay to not want company. So many people will want to come over, meet the baby and provide support. Which is fine but you are tired, like really tired. Sometimes you just want to be by yourself with your new love. That's okay. You aren't obligated to do anything you don't have to . This is your time, your memory.

4. Do you. Be you. Don't let motherhood consume you: You can still be a good mom and be the person you have always been. You can have fun, have girl nights out, look on pinterest for non baby things and drink wine. If you let motherhood consume you then you loose a part of yourself. I am totally guilty of this and can not judge. The first year of Riley's life I was consumed with her. I had to give her every opportunity, do countless hours of therapy and would stop at nothing to make sure she had everything she needed. I lost me. Take some time for embrace motherhood and who you are becoming as a mother, woman and wife, but don't loose the you, you love.

Being a first time mom is the greatest thing to most moms, but to me it was scary. Trying to keep a newborn fed, alive and happy was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I didn't know anything about sleep training, baby food, or even milestones. I wasn't a mom that read up on everything, knew random statistic, or even realized that babies were supposed to do things by certain months.  I relied on advice to get me though.

It seems funny that I am now the one attempting to give advice when I actually don't know a thing about parenting. I parent day to day. I don't have a plan. I don't know what tomorrow will bring and I adapt to whatever that day may bring. Tomorrow is a new day and will certainly bring new challenges, but today is the day! Today is the day you are living and todays is the day to love your kids the best way you know how!

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