Thursday, May 5, 2016

If I'm not here when you read this....

To My Girls,

I don't think a day goes by that I don't hear on the radio, news or social media that a mom was taken from her children in the blink of an eye; or maybe even over time. I like to think I will be around forever, like immortal, but what if I'm not?

If I'm still around by the time you read this blog, probably around 16 or so, you will either hate my guts because I wouldn't let you spend the night at a boy girl sleepover, or we are like best friends. I like to think I will be around for both of these situations but If I'm not, I wanted to give you some advice for your future. I'm not the best at everything. I don't know everything there is about success, marriage, children and careers, but I know enough to keep give you a little piece of your mom that you will have forever. Here goes:

  1. Character is who you are when know one is looking. Character is something you want and need in your life. Character makes you succeed.
  2. Ask lots of questions. Never EVER assume anything. Asking questions will get your answers quicker and will make any process shorter.
  3. Take care of your teeth. Like forever. Always brush, floss, or whatever your dentist wants you to do. Do it. You will thank me later.
  4. Friendship is so important. To have good friends, you must be a good friend. Being a good friend means putting someone else before you in certain situations. Caring about other people enough to not be envious, to be supportive even when you don't want to and having someone to talk to in the silent if you had to. Your friends will be there throughout your whole life- they are great at holding your hair also.
  5. Plans will get broken; live with it. Don't be so inflexible that you can't function without everything being planned out. I had my whole college, getting married, having a kid thing planed out and none of it turned out how I thought. Move on.
  6. Forgive. Forgiving is more about you than the other person. I always say "time heals, give time time". Forgive for you, not for the other person.
  7. Choose a career that makes you happy. I absolutely love working in higher education and it shows. You won't love everyday but you will spend most of your time working when you are an adult; make it enjoyable.
  8. Negativity is contagious. so it positivity. Be positive. Happiness is really a choose. Plain and simple.
  9. Be free. You live in America and that is a privilege. You can be anything you want to be and do anything you want in this country. Exercise your right to vote; freedom wasn't free.
  10. It's okay if you are different than everyone else. Don't feel like you have to fit in with everyone and do things that you know go against your values. Different is beautiful.
  11. Stay close to you sister. Having a sibling is such a gift. Stay close to each other because in the end, you will always have each other to lean on.
  12. Your education is important. This doesn't mean you have to take the same road as me, or your father. It just means to read up on things, educate yourself. Keep growing and gave the urge to be a better person.
  13. Love you more. I know that sounds totally selfish but it is probably the most important one on this list. No matter how much you love your husband, your partner, your kids or anything; love you more. You can't let yourself go and always put people ahead of you. You will soon loose yourself and then others will loose you soon after. Trust me.
  14. Drink lots of water. What you put in your body matters. Enough said.
  15. No matter what the situation: Get up, dress up, and show up. I heard this quote from a good friend when I worked at Ball State and it has gotten me through the toughest of situations. Don't let the situation take over your life. Take a day if you need, but the next day; GET UP, DRESS UP, AND SHOW UP.
There are so many things I could put on this list, but for time sake and typing, know this: God put you in our family because you belong there. He made you who you are because he loves you. There are no accidents, no coincidences. Everything is supposed to happen the way it does. Always remember that.

Love- mom

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